---------------------------

wade_up

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Jogging on the ship

I've picked up running again- I stopped running last year so I could have more gym time and focus more on building muscle. But the crew  gym totally sucks, and some of my friends aren't allowed in passenger gyms (we love segregation on ship life... It's so annoying) so running on deck 7 and 8 it is (which they aren't allowed to do that either- so I just go after they leave)

Running is a great stress reliever at midnight- after a long frustrating day I can run my guys out! 3 laps around the ship equals 1 mile
I jog around the corners of the ship and and sprint on straight ways, every time some old person walks out right in front of me as I screech to a hault, if They were walking I could easily shove them out of the way and yell "man over board!" - but they usually come busting out of those doors on a jazzy. The same scooters that run over your toes in the photo gallery, and also knocks over your photo backdrop during portraits! (All I  tell them is to back up a little bit- and they go pedal to the metal, bouncing over the sand bags and knocking the poles and shit! And their frowny facial expression stays the same through the entire crash!)
So, in other words I have to screech to a halt, because I'd be the man getting knocked over board.


Out sister ship had a crew man jump over board in the middle of the night- so they took a detour to circle it's path back- looking for the body... so sad! I always hear people  say "why would someone ever do that?" when talking about suicide, and yeah I don't think suicide is the answer, but you never know what people have been going through.

Some of these jobs are miserable! When I shoot at the LA gangway as people are getting into the ship, I talk to the security guards there and last week this guy was telling me that he's never seen grown men cry until he got started working here.  We usually get a few hours off on land at each port and these foreigners are sobbing because they don't want to go back to life on ship working long hours for crappy pay.

He said it doesn't really happen as much on our ship, but for sure on other cruise lines and ships. LA is currently not letting anyone off the ships except for US citizens, because they've been having problems with philloinos  jumping ship, and never coming back! Ha! I don't blame them :) 


Monday, January 6, 2014

Utah legalizes gay marriage

remember reading an article about gay marriage, and in it, it stated that in the coming year of 2014, Utah will be legalizing gay marriage.  Growing up in this very traditional/very conservative state I totally discredited that article and stopped reading it. It had just lost all credit when I read that part .

Boy, have things changed since being on a ship for only 2 weeks! The Supreme Court over turned the people's decision and legalized gay marriage! Holy cow!
I was blown away by this!
I was so happy, kinda speechless, wishing that I had someone to celebrate this with- but not really caring too much, because it didn't even seem real.

I'm still getting Facebook rants for and against this ruling- which keeps me pretty entertained when I'm online. 

Growing up in the LDS church and being gay, I now have a pretty equal amount of friends who are for and against it, and it usually doesn't bug me when people go on these huge anti gay rants , if I was straight, I'd possibly be doing the same thing too... but I doubt it :) There would be so many great friendships I would loose if I was so narrow minded and selected friends based on their political and religious views.

In the past I've tried and tried to change, with such unsuccessful attempts, when it came time to serve an LDS mission I thought I could try once more to change myself by focusing less on me and more on the lords work for two whole years. I do admit that I had such a great learning and growing experience that I am always grateful for and built some life long friendships, but when it came down to the end of those two years, I was still attracted to men. I was kind of disappointed, kinda confused, not sure what I could don't better or what I would do next. 

I've have never really let me self become depressed, or suicidal over this realization, I was just getting brunt out- sick of people asking who I'm dating, so sick of these endless  blind dates that never ended well.   

I don't have an amazing or dramatic  coming out story, but I did feel this sense of relief, not having to hide the obvious truth! Ha!

It seems that when people come out, they get rid of their religion, throw all if their morals out the window, and become an entirely different person. 

I still feel that church/religion/spirituality is so important in a persons life.  Just as Native Americans make their spirituality so much apart of them, I feel the same way about my church.

I have friends who have left the LDS church, but I can usually tell that they were raised Mormon because of the way they act or conduct themselves. That's why I would never rip on anyone's religion, because it's still apart of them, and most try in their own way to make their people better.


Things I've learned from church that I am so grateful for is:
- self worth- if I hadn't learned to believe in myself, then why would anyone else. There are so many people out there to rip you down, and church does just the opposite

-Importance of body/word of wisdom- working in this ship they all tell me "this job will eventually make you turn to drinking" but we'll see, the more I learn about alcohol, the more unappealing it seems.

- Importance of family relationships, this is super interesting to me, because there are so many teenaged kicked out on the streets for being gay. I will always be so grateful for my family for actually practicing what they preach. My dad always says "No matter what you do, we will always love you!" That has meant so much to me, and gotten me through some rough times. 

This blog is a lot longer than it needs to be, but people always say "woah! How does that work out! Being a gay and being so close with your family!?"
So that's it, that's my background- I believe in gay marriage on a government level, but on a religious level- I think it's completely fine if they don't support it.