Welcome to my life

Just wanted to say...

2012-02-07T15:01:00.001-08:00

I was just sitting in class today, being board out of my mind and realized that I haven't posted to my blog in such a long time!

So that'll be a new goal of mine! To write and actually post my blogs

But so many great things have been going on, that I can up date later!

But I just wanted to say that believe it or not, I will be GRADUATING this year! Ugh! It's about time!

Also, when I'm not working full time, or being a full time student, I've been working on my hobby, and turning it into a business- I'm so close to launching my tshirt line called

UnderpaidTyrant.com

Here's a little preview:

I keep making up dates to it each week- so go check it out!

But I'm taking off- so I hope you all have a great day!

Mexico...

2010-11-08T21:41:00.001-08:00

I'm back from from Mexico- and had such a great vacation! This is how is started....Happy! Just like this Mexican! I was happy to be in Mexico!!! And happy to not be working or at school! And happy to be at a resort- where I can eat 3 dinners per night! Which, all of a sudden gave me flabby nasty-Love handles, because I couldn't stop feeding my face!

And this is how my vacation ended... (Warning- this next picture is pretty graphic!)

Puking my guts out in the airport- because I had been drinking the water! Ugh!

But you know what I noticed...? 1 day of puking plus 2 days of not eating because I felt like crap, bounced me back to the exact same weight I was before I left!

Who would have thought?
Maybe I should definitely write a book about this throwing up- and not eating diet! haha!

Anywho, Hope you all have a great Snowy Monday- and if you're not in Utah, then consider your selves lucky! ha!

(PS- I have some fun pictures that are soon to come!)

Uhh....

2010-06-05T15:48:00.000-07:00

I just had one of those 'What was I thinking?' Moments...

I have a pool party to go to in 2 hours- and I thought that I could quickly cut my hair before I went-

Problem #1
Doing something quickly with scissors isn't something that I'm good at

Problem #2
when ever I cut my own hair- I can't see the back- so if I can't see it- then I don't cut it which then turns into a Mullet!!!

Problem#3
it's a pool party- meaning your hair is going to get messed up any ways- so why cut your hair in the first place?

Long story made short.... I feel like this guy....

But look like this guy.....

See what I mean?

I'm going to go back and try this again... because it can't get any worst! Wish me luck! Ha!

Farting at work- how classy is that?

2010-05-14T14:28:00.000-07:00

Do you ever think that you can fart quietly in your cubical (at work) with out anyone hearing-
But then you totally prove your self wrong? Haha! I just did that!

Anywho, I gotta go- because I’m at work! Over and out ;)

It's official... I made it-Twice!

2010-05-01T09:56:00.000-07:00

I've been working this whole school year- stressing out about Tryouts to get into the Graphic Design Program! And right before my trip to New York- I found out that I made it into the program! That was so exciting and such a huge relief!

And 2 days ago Garret told me that University of Utah was accepting applications for some jobs on their UPC program- and so I applied for the Associate Director of Design- with in their Marketing group! Long story short- I wasn't planning on making it because I didn't have access to any of my artwork- and I felt under qualified for the position.

But my Dad always says to not put limits on your self- to try out for every opportunity and make employers tell you "No" because you'll never know, unless you try. So I tried out feelig way dumb- becuse I only brought 2 peices with me- and had an interview with 10 people people! (Dang- that was way nerve racking! ha!)

But they called me yesterday to inform me that I got the postion! Exciting huh? So now I'll be incharge of designing the t-shirt and advertizments for UofU

Can I just say...

2010-03-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

That my dog is cuter than yours! Ha!

just kidding!

But seriously, It's the best feeling ever to come home to a dog who is crazy about you!

A Shout out to my roomates...

2010-01-24T10:28:00.000-08:00

And yes, I'm shouting this to my roommate(s)- cause I get so irritated some times!

#1- Call me crazy- but I'm pretty sure that filling up the sink with water does not wash the dishes (no matter how many weeks you soak them for, they just don't wash them selves!) but they do grow mold and a deadly aroma!

#2 Not paying the Internet bill = not having Internet! As with each month, comcast knows who you are, and how to disconnect our Internet! So we should probably pay on time, so we don't have to pay anymore late fees!

#3 Remember how I thought you were dead because your alarm clock was going off for 8 hours straight? Lets try not to make that a daily occurrence! Or better yet- lets learn how to push the Snooze button!

#4 Unscrewing the out door light bulb really doesn't save that much money! It just makes it easier to trip down the stairs! Let's start with every indoor light that gets left on all day and all night while no one is home!

#5 Seriously... how they hell does your brownish/gray under wear get into the washer with my white clothes? that made me gag! And my friends tried to convince me that they are probably mine- but trust me, I don't wear size 56 waist! I really have no clue how those got there! Ha! But I did re-wash my clothes (with lots of bleach)

The End! But if there's anything else this week- I'll defiantly write it on the white board ;)

PS- thanks for finally buying toilet paper! I bet your alot happier now that you're not using newspaper!

Mono free is the way to be!

2010-01-12T22:15:00.000-08:00

That's right, I got my test results back and I'm completely mono free!

Fewf! I tell ya, it's all fun and games until you think you have mono! then it's the pits! Ha!

Actually, the reason why I think I had mono is cause I was feeling really weird- way tired, head aches, tired musclse- but with no flu like, symptoms (runny nose, couching, and sore throut)

So I decided to google all of my symptoms and- they all pointed to 1 thing! INFECTIOUS MONONUCLEOSIS also known as Mono, the kissing deasease! All the articles that I kept reading, talked about such horror stories- about people being out of school and work all the days, and then having another relaps and still having aches and pains to this day!

I was totally wigging out, so I texted everyone who might have came in contact with me recently ;) and who I've shared a drinks with- and made them think that they probably have mono also! They weren't happy campers! ha!

But this long story (made short) has a good ending, I went to the doctor, who did the test results and told me I was negative!

The end....I sure freaked my self out on that one! Ha!

Stembridge Family Christmas Top 10

2010-01-01T09:02:00.000-08:00

Christmas this year was defiantly a fun one to remember- and here are the Top Christmas Events for 2009-

#1 I finished my Christmas shopping with $0.86 left in my bank account- Ha! I'm just glad I didn't over draft!

#2 Me and mom found out what a great team we make- with our mad skills when it comes to building ginger bread houses, and our speedy puzzle building skills- What next...? Amazing race- here we come!

#3 Garret recruited 2 more people for his Christmas eve mooning club- (I'm glad we all know how to act our age in public) Mom totally flipped out when she looked out side to see us doing that (she even blogged about it)

#4 During our Christmas Scavenger hunt, the neighbors came home while we were snooping around their house! ***Awkward*** Cause there's not much we can say to them as they pull up, except "Our next clue said to go look around the scary neighbor's house- and you were the scariest person that came to mind!" Ha! So we just smiled and casually walked away...

#5 We got a new Wii game- which is way fun, but when it's a game that involves team work, it usually brings the worst out of us! Especially the twins- it gets nasty between them! Ha! So you'd never think is was Christmas morning, listening to all the fighting and complaining coming from the family room-

#6 all kids plus all 5 dogs were home for Christmas!

#7 Christmas eve- we have a big dinner and talk about our favorite Christmas memories and then watch the nativity story

#8 Our main Christmas lights kept blowing fuses- so at least the sides of the house looked beautiful! Ha!

#9 The basement toilet was clogged- so dad felt the need to unclog it on Christmas morning (instead of using one of the other 3 bathrooms) The plunger was no use, so Dad got out the Big guns! The Instant Drain Opener! It's pretty much this heavy duty plunger equipped with CO2 cartridges to blast through any drain... can you guess where this is going? also, alittle side note- this is one of the presents Dad gave to mom last year... you should have see her face when she opened it! Ha!

But long story short- my dad didn't use the splash guard, so he and the bathroom were totally covered in toilet water!

#10 Dad ended up using MY towel to wipe up the bathroom- and I didn't find this out til a couple days and a couple showers later! Ha!

Each year we get the same surprise at the end of the Scavenger hunt! PJ's and our Favorite Cereal! ha! Thanks Mom and Dad... and let not forget Santa! He still comes to our house!

Be cool, stay in school!

2009-09-18T20:54:00.000-07:00

It's been forever and a day since I've given any updates on my life or gave a shout out to my mom! (she has a blog you know, http://www.morethanabucketofstuff.blogspot.com/ that's what she says if she really likes ya, that she loves you more than a bucket of stuff!)

Anywho, abunch has happened in the last couple of months:

-I moved out of my dumpy old apartment- and into a house(still kind of a ramshackle,but it's fun) the old place was developing fast growing mold under neath the carpets! Sick huh? It really felt like I was walking on a squishy sea monster- which kept growing each day! So now I'm in this house which is also getting eatin alive by ivy- so every time I go out side- i take a hand full of ivy and keep walking, as it come ripping off behind me

- I changed my major- I left Medical Laboratory Science and switched it too... drum roll please... Graphic design! Ha! It's funny to see people's reactions when I tell them I'm going into graphic design- it's kind of like telling someone that you wana be a professional basketball player, cause they say something like "Wow, good luck with that!" but their facial expression says "Doubt that'll ever happen!"

People use to say "Whoa, Medical laboratory- you must be smart!" And then they ask me all sorts of questions about my current job" and now they say "OK... I guess it's good to do something you really enjoy- huh?" while their facial expressions say "Grow up and get a real job!"

Oh well- I really thought hard about this- and talked to lots of people over the last 5 or 6 years- and I finally decided that I can make a living being a graphic design artist- and I should be able to support a family- and just in case that doesn't work out- I'll always have my second major (communications- with a minor in business) to back me up!

Speaking of art, I was chosen as the Artist of the month at work and got to display my paintings on their 2 art walls- which doesn't sound that cool- but I've gotten a bunch of commissions off of that- which I really didn't want, since I'm going to school full time and I already work full time! So I decided to charge them out the nose- and now those few commissions will be paying my rent for the next 5 months! Which is exciting! And I'm working on building a web site because... I'm really not sure why? That's just what all the other artist do- and I might as well jump on the band wagon....

(2 minutes Later) Good news! Wadeup.com isn't taken yet- I just need to figure out how to build a web site- so if any one knows how too, then help me out- if not, then I'll make another blog and pretend that it's my web site! Ha!

- I finally got an assistant to help me out with stupid stuff at work- and really... I feel like I'm working alot harder! Lame!!! Because I'm still doing all my previous jobs, taking up his slack- while doing all of these new job that I got handed from other coworkers! Not cool! So I told my boss that I'm looking for a new job- so then he talked to me about it and then he gave me a promotion and a raise!!! (But I'm still looking for a new job in the company- Less laboratory and more office work- weird huh?) I'm just kinda burnt out of my job, but who isn't sick of their job?

-I painted my room- with out my land lords permission! Ha!

-And I got back into my eBay streak- where I'm bidding and looking up anything and everything online- and who would have guess that you can actually sell human skulls online? not I- They go anywhere from $300 to $2000 So I haven't bought one...yet!

-Oh and can I tell you how great, and grand my summer was? I had so many trips and cruise planned with my friends that there was just no time to take any classes-Non! Not even online classes, because I had a friend who wanted to take me to Spain, some friends who wanted to road trip down to California, some people wanted to go visit Derek up in Alaska and then go on some $300 cruises to different places! What a fun summer huh? Thanks to my flaky friends my summer consisted of working, sitting in utah, and going to dumb old Wendover (which I lost $60) And you would think that I had all this money saved up cause I sat on my keester for all the days- but no, it just burnt a whole in my pocket! Moral of the story is: Be cool, and stay in School! (Summer school, that is!)

I hate fake diagnosis'

2009-06-20T10:50:00.000-07:00

This is so crazy, I am surrounded by people who know everything, and they all seem to know with out a doubt what kind of weird diseases I have. It's never a possibility that I might have these disease, it's a defiant thing!

Example: If I'm tired then I defiantly have mono! Every time I act a little tired I keep getting informed that it's that dang Mono kicking in! It just doesn't seem logical to blame it on the fact that I have to be to work between 4:30 and 5 am! **Curses** That's early!

If a coworker's story gets so bloody boring that I completely tune them out and walk away I get informed that I have ADD and/or ADHD (what ever the difference is?)

If I have a swollen lymph node then my doctor first decides (no matter what I be sayin) that I'm sexually active, and that I have an STD from putting body parts in my mouth! Ha! I better keep my mouth closed from now on~

What else have I had, but not really had... Allergies to wheat! I thought I was going to die when my doctor said that I tested positive for it! But after more test he realized that I don't!

Back in the day when I couldn't read some big word!" they said "you need to get some glasses" which is just a nice way of saying "you're dumb! and can't read good!" ha!

My hair loss is lack of Biotin, Zinc and don't forget... STRESS! Stress supposedly causes everything known (and not known) to man! I wonder if it's caused aids yet?

But word to your mother "Yoga is definatly not the cure for everything!"

Marathon Runners!

2009-06-14T09:08:00.000-07:00

Me and Heather woke up early yesterday (5:45am) To go help out at the Utah Valley Marathon, and normally I wouldn't blog about such a boring thing, but it is one of my favorite hobbies... People Watching!

The only difference was that every one had alot more Swass and swoobs! (if you don't know what those are then read the fine print at the bottom of this blog!) When people finally got to us they were soaking wet, but still had 15 more miles to go!

I felt like saying "Don't give up now Boob sweat! your not even close to being half way!" or "Hope you brought a change of clothes, cause it looks like you pissed your pants back at mile 10!"

And all the occward runners totally modivated me, and gave me the confidence that I can run a 26 mile race! Ha! You see all types of people, the people who are really suffering through this, and the overly happy people!

So it makes me wonder....what would I look like if I were to run a marathon? would I be happy like this...

Or totally miserable like this....

Ha! I think it's ovbious, I would look and feel like crap!

I've been training for a few 5K's and acouple 10K's this summer. And maybe, just maybe I'll want to train for a Marathon next year...but I doubt it. But I'll definatly blog about it if I do!

P.S. Definition of Swass and Swoobs- found in UrbanDictionary.com

Swass- 1.Butt sweat 2. when prespiration builds up in the region between the butt cheeks

When used in a sentance- "Wade hasn't done much in PE class, yet he still has swass" or "Your mom has swass!"

Swoobs-1. Sweat + Boobs= Swoobs 2.Them damn sweaty boobs, that's what swoobs means! 3.When sweat gathers in your cleavage...you get swoobs

When used in a sentance- "I have a serious case of the swoobs"

My Stick Horse

2009-05-09T15:49:00.000-07:00

I love this story my great, great, grandma wrote, it's really makes me see things from a different perspective. It's called...

The Stick Horse

One evening when
my four-year old sister and I were out walking with Father, Ellen asked him to carry her home. She was just too tired to walk, she said. When he told her that he was tired, too, she began to cry. With out a word, Father took out his knife and cut a small limb from a tree. Handing it to Ellen, he said, “Here’s a fine horse for you to ride.” Ellen hopped astride the stick, and off she galloped- beating us home by a block.

Father laughed. “That’s the way you will find life, he told me. “Sometime you will be so tired mentally or physically that you’ll think you can’t go on. Then you’ll find a stick horse in a form of a friend, a song, a poem, a flower, a baby’s smile- and over the tired spot you’ll gallop.”

Now I am telling my three children that there is a stick horse to carry them over every tired spot in life if they will but look around for it.

--Mrs. T. Edward Brown Posted in the Reader’s Digest- May, 1946

I came up with a list of a few 'stick horses' in my life, like:

When my parent’s say “Go give’em Heck!” as I’m on my way to do something really intimidating, It just gives me the confidence going into interviews, a new school, or speaking in public with a cheesy grin on my face.

Having inside jokes with myself!

An unexpected compliment. These usually can turn my whole day around!

Waking up before my alarm goes off and realizing I still have a hour to sleep.

Painting with the color blue

Watching old family videos

Making nic-names for rude people! The rude person of this week is Lisa, so now when I have anything to say about her, I use her new name "Leesiees feesies"

The taste of cold fruit when I’m taking a hot shower! (Yep, I eat in the shower all the days! Cold foods taste the best, but occasionally Spaghetti-O’s hit the spot!)

When my mom seems to call me right when I need someone to talk to!

Coming home and finding that my best friends have been waiting all day to see me! Nope, I’m not talking about surprise parties! I’m talking about my DOGS! (even though I do like surprise parties!)

I feel like too many times we look around to see what drags us down, when we should be looking for our sick horse. So that's my newest goal, to be more optimistic and look for the good in life.

Swine Flu

2009-05-02T22:41:00.000-07:00

Holly Hanna!
Who would have ever thought that this Swine flu would become such a big deal? Not I!

<-- As you can see in this picture, this must be how whole pig epidemic got started! Ha!

But I love this website that shows you early symptoms to look for, and lets you know if you have the swine flu. It's called Do I have swine flu.org

Check it out!

I owe my life to that apple!

2009-04-18T15:32:00.000-07:00

No wonder Jonny Apple seed devoted his whole life to planting apple trees! Because they're not only awesome and nutritious , but they can be used to juggle! And you can put them on people heads to shoot with arrows! (William Tell does that for a hobby) Some of the best computers are... Apples! I even know a few Chinese people who name their kids 'Apple.' Most of my Elementary school teachers would come to school wearing little apple earings. NYC, even though I haven't been there, it's known as being 'The big apple!' So what I'm saying is, Apples are the bee's knees! But lets not forget how they save lives! Ha! (mine in particular!)

It all happend today, when I was on my way to a friend's house and I decided to grab an apple on my way out the door. This was a way juicy apple, dripping down my hands, so I had to eat it fast and make slurping noises while eating, because I didn't want it to drip all over the the car!

So I roll on up to this stop light, still eating my apple... (Quick side note) You know that feeling when you know someone is watching you? even when you can't tell who? Well I was feeling like that, so I look over at the green car next to me and it's a grandma driving, who was like 66 (possibly 68 if she ages well?) and I think she was either driving to the hospital or the morge, because the much older lady in the passager seat looked like she was well past her experation date! (107 year old)

But these too ladies were starting at me, so I turn my head and enjoy my apple out the other window! But for some reason when I catch someone looking at me, I always have to look back over and over again, just to make sure they've stopped lookin at me. So i slowly turn my head back around and they are still staring at me! I'm not sure if I was eating like a Piggy pig pig? Or if I eating all seductively, but how ever I was eating that apple, I was sure turning heads!

But they were staring at me for so long, while I was looking out the other window that we didn't even notice that the light was green, so right as I'm about to go, this speeding car comes shooting threw the intersection, barley missing me! In other words, if I had been paying attention, (not eating my apple) my car would have gone into the intersection at the same time that this LameO would have, which would have T-boning my car on the driver's side! Fewf! Thank heaven for Seven Eleven (and also for Apples!)

I am tired of being confussed with Soy Milk!

2009-04-05T14:54:00.000-07:00

MILK, What is it good for? Absolutely Nothing! Just kidding, it's actually not that bad!

But it expires so fast! And I don't drink it that often, so it ends up expiring before I even open it! So that's why I switched to soy milk! Delicious Soy Milk, which takes a month and a half to expire.
And now, I'm getting so confused with this soy milk! It just keeps going back an forth on the healthy scale! One day I'll hear it cures everything, and the next day I'll hear that it causes all sorts of complications! I just keep going back and forth hearing the Goodies and Baddies of this mysterious milk that comes from beans!

I first found out that Soy milk reduces cholesterol! (good thing)

Next I hear that it's bad for your digestive system, and hard for your body to break down (bad thing)

Soy milk raises estrogen levels- which has made men lactate. Dude! If that's true? I'd poke my eyes out! (Defiantly a bad thing! Ha!) read on: I found a follow up article on this!

Soy milk helps reduce the chance of getting prostate cancer (The joy of Soy!)

Soy milk and soy products can really wack out your thyroid (not so good!) and that web site called me a "human guinea pig" for eating soy before it's actually been proven safe! Ha! They are Lame! Actually, now I think about it! that web site isn't even a scholarly source! So lets completely discredit them- Done! I'm no longer a human guineapig and every one now has a healthy thyroid!

Next on my list, soy milk has an abundance of isoflavones, anyone know what that is? I didn't either!~ They are chemicals that are very similar to the estrogen hormone which are connected to "the prevention of many cancers, heart disease, osteoporosis and more." read more about this at: http://coffeetea.about.com/od/health/a/soymilk.htm

Soy milk only has a quarter of the amount of calcium that dairy milk has (Osteoporosis here I come!) But it has more fiber than cow milk, and it's high in protein!

Soy milk has a little more fat than regular 2% milk, but has no cholesterol!

I kind of found out that this is a never ending list of goodies and baddies of soy milk, so in conclusion of my research, I've come realised that people who are die-hard fans for soy milk, tend to call dairy milk "Moo Moo juice!" and most sources tell me that you should drink your soy milk with in 3-5 days for it to be fresh (that's not the same as the expiration date)
Also, the Sun spoils "moo moo juice" so fast, no matter how cold it is. If it's in the sun then it'll go bad before the expiration date!

But after much debating and reading all sorts of articles, I've made my decision! I am going to (drum roll please......) Keep drinking Soy milk! Cause I've drank it for so many years, and I still don't lactate (thank goodness!); I also figured that that too much of anything is bad for you, so if I don't go over board on soy milk then I should be fine... that is until it makes my thyroid fail! Ha!

Now this guy knows what's goin on! He has fresh milk every where he goes!

If only bathroom walls could talk! Looks like you're in luck!

2009-03-12T13:19:00.000-07:00

Recently I've noticed that there are so many great, important and insightful sayings found on the walls of public bathroom stalls (don't kid your self! I'd never take a dump in a public restroom, but sometimes or most times there's a creeper standing at the urinals. So I go to plan B, into the handi cap stall) Anywho, these writings go unnoticed, that is until now! Because I'm going to post mt favorites! (Note to self: I've seen way more than this, but most of them are pretty dirt ball and there's no doubt in my mind that my mom will read this, and I don't want her to rip my head off! Even though somthing has been telling me that she's the one who's been writting most of them! Ha!)

"For a Fun and Sexy time call (801) 372-6323"
Response written underneath it: "GO HOME MOM YOU'RE DRUNK!"

"Make love, not war."
Response: "Heck, do both: get married!" (I obviously sighted this one in Utah! "Heck!")

"Bad spellers untie!!!"

"Please don`t throw cigarette butts in urinal, it's giving the cockroaches cancer!"

"Please don`t throw butts in urinal, it makes them soggy & hard to light." So funny!

"Celebrate female, armpit hair pride week"

"The Toilet seat you are currently sitting on has been infected with herpes" Ha!

"I Love Girls!!!"

"Whoever wrote this was a test tube baby"

"Anyone can Piss on the seat,
I wanna see you [crap] on the ceiling."

"What moron writes on the bathroom walls?"

"Hi, I'm Gonorrhea.
Have a seat and I'll be right with you" (I'm pretty sure i see this one is every ghetto place I go but it's still funny!)

"If you can pee this high please call the local fire department at 555-5555" (written on thew ceiling)

Written on a condemn dispenser: "Insert baby for refund" (get it? Kind of funny right?)

"Jesus saves... and at today's prices, that's a miracle."

"We all lie in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars!" (I'm not sure why I like this one? I think it's actually kind of inspirational?)

"Don't throw toothpicks in the urinal, crabs can pole-vault" (I've never seen this one but I my neighbor just told me it today! Ha!)

"Smile, Jesus loves you"

"Friends don't let friends take home ugly chicks"

(While your reading this, play the Urinal game I also put on the right side of my blog! I'll be surprised if any one gets them all right the first time!)

Also, send me any other bathroom tags you've seen!

Thank goodness I cleaned my trunk out yesterday!

2009-03-02T19:58:00.000-08:00

That would have been embarrassing driving all around town with my dirty trunk flapping open! Instead, where ever I drove today, people saw the nice, clean innards’ of my trunk! Ha! Open, shut, open and slam shut with every stop and go!

I just have to say how groovy poppa roovy my car is! Delshawn is his name! He’s a white car, with a black name! Go figure? And he seems to always have new tricks up his sleeve. He tries to show me a new one every frickin day!

Wow, he’s amazing! In the mornings he gets really excited when I first start him up! Bouncing and vibrating frantically, while the ‘check engine light” is flashing to the beat of the music! “Bum bum bedum, bum bum check engine light!”

But he is having an Identity crisis, if you look at him from the front, he totally looks like a guy and when you look at him from the rear, he looks like a girl! Then when I drive him out on my busy road, he sometimes forgets that he’s an automatic. But it’s alright! Sometimes I like getting whiplash and putting around as if I’m driving a stick for the first time! He sure is fun! Ha!

P.S. If you still can’t tell that I’m being sarcastic, just know that I’ll be having a bonfire this week! And I will be burning my car to the ground! So bring your marshmallows and hot dogs to help celebrate the occasion as I sacrifice Delshawn (insert evil laugh here)

Thelma! Now, that’s a classy car! (may she rest in pieces) I should have bought her one of those license plate frames that says “I’m a classy car buyer!” I drove Thelma all though highschool and in my first year of college! She was a tan Ford Torus/ Grandma car with spinner hub caps! She was Blingin!

And I got way too much attention from the Hispanic race! Ha! I would be waiting patiently at the stop light, and I hear this ‘Vroom Vroom!’ next to me and my sisters would say, “I think they wana race Wade!” I look over and there’d be this tiny car packed with Hispanic guys who are just staring at my spinner (cheep plastic) hubcaps! I’d tell my sisters “Hey-O-no! I will not race these guys and defiantly do not make eye contact with them!” and then we’d go on our marry way (and some times we won the race with out even trying! Ha!)

It seemed like pot holes are great at flinging those hup caps off and they'd go flying across the road, and I'd pull over and make my sisters go after them! Ha!She was sold after I left for my mission to some teenager girl who had already been in 3 car wrecks, and as history repetes it's self! She crashed Thelma the same day Thelma left the Stembridge residence. Ha! I'd like to think that she's in a better place, but who am I kidding? All dogs go to heaven! Not all Grandma cars! But I guess we'll just have to see for our selfs!

Why do 'not cool' things happen to cool people?

2009-02-19T13:43:00.000-08:00

First of all, my Valentines day was... what's a good word? Kaputs! It was my goal to have a girlfriend By February 14th 2009! And guess who failed misserabley? Ha! ME!!! And to remind me of this failure some girl said to me as I'm leaving work "Wade, have a great day being single tomorrow!" Woah, are those fighting words? I should have punched her in the baby makes! I was so bugged! Ha! And for some reason I'm still nice to her face! Go figure!

But this is cool! (sort of) My sister hooked me up with 2 free massages at her massage school on Valentines at her work! But she thought she would be funny and hand me over to some lady who is way more of a man than I am! And stupidly I was butt naked for this massage! Long story short, I totally got a deep tissue massage on my...(don't read this mom) bum cheecks! Ha!

She was getting alittle too into it (if you know what I mean) with her heavy breathing and how she was practically sitting on me! I swore she was going to brake me in half, or worste brake the table! How embarressing would that be if the table broke and my naked body rolls out under the sheet into the next stall! Ha! i'm blushing just thinkin about the occwardness! Anywho, she makes me roll over and I have my hand over... yep! good job! you just read my mind! And she kept reasuring me that I won't get exposed, Hay-O no! I just kept telling her that my hands are cold! Ha! I know her better than that! She really likes her hands on activities!

Oh, and another thing that just made Valentines day even more special! I grew a tumor over night! My lymphnode was huge that morning! The doctor couldn't belive how big it was! First thing he says was "Are you Sexually active? Well what about the last 6 months!" After I said "no" again he gets this wierd look on his face and said "Have you had any body parts in your mouth?" Ha! Do I have 'LIAR' written accross my forhead? Because he wasn't buying it!

But what I'm getting at is, my lymphnode was so big and I felt like I should give this tumor it's own name! Because it was getting alot more attention then I ever get, and my freaky massuge was trying to drain it by using her "techniques" which ended up being bull crap! It just hurt like no other and got even bigger! I will kill my sister if I ever have to go to that lady again! Man it was misserable!

Anywho, my last uncool story of this blog is how my crapy computer made me want to poke my eyes out today! It's been quite a while since I've felt this 'un cooleo' So I found this funny movie that I wanted to show my friend Sean after class, but these 2 girls in the hall were talking as if their Shizzy life was every one's business (AKA:Really Loud) So to I turn my computer as loud as it goes to drown them out, so Sean can see these funny videos.

But for some reason, my computer wanted to take all the days to dd it's downloads and I ran out of time! LAME! So I shut my computer (which usually turns it to 'hibernate mode') and went to my 'Bad words and Taboo' terms class. This class is full of... how do I say this nice? people who like to use bad words, and they're pretty much the summiest/craziest faced people on campus! (I'm just there because I want an easy Humanities credit) So... what I'm getting at is, I just really don't want to make eye contact, or get any attention from anyone, I just want to blend in and learn the the origins of the F-word.

Anywho, In the middle of this lecture my computer finished down loading this movie and must have been proud or something? so it started playing this movie

Female Dictator

It was on the loudest setting blaring in our amphitheater classroom, for the teacher and all the students!
It's kind of like forgetting to turn your cell phone off at church or in an important meeting, but this was way loud and I didn't even know it was coming from me! So it just kept going on and on while I'm being a chatty kathy, talking the girl next to me (she's not completely insane like the rest of the folks) And the whole time I was thinking "huh, that sounds way familiar?" The only way I realised that it was coming from me, was because more and more people kept turning around staring at me! Ha! Dude, I felt like such a butt lick trying to turn it off, which it wouldn't! So I just explained that "My computer has problems! Kind of like how all you have problems!" Just kidding, I didn't say that, but I should have!

And while your watching that video, watch this one also:
Courageous Man

Well, I gotta bounce out of here, the whole time I've been typing this, some kind of powder keeps falling on my head and my black shirt! Is that nomal? Ha! Well, stay tuned for my next post called "I'm covered in Anthrax"

Who picks fights with Girls anyways? Wade does!

2009-02-16T15:18:00.000-08:00

The whole reason behind this blog is to tell this story CORRECTLY! Because I usualy find that when people tell my stories they all ways leave out important details which then, makes me look like Idget! (word to your mother: Idget is one word to describe and idiot, midget!)

Anywho, in highschool I took debate, don't ask me why? But that's where this story takes place, in my Debate class! And if any one knows me, they should know that I hate it when people mess my hair up! (Especially in Highschool, when everything actually matters in life! Ha!) You could run your hands through my hair, to make it go "Poof!" And condradulations! You just ruined the rest of my day!

So one day Debate class, I was doing what I do best, -Nothing!- Just being a chatty Cathy, and telling Mitch all these pointless stories. Then out of left field come trotting along Alysha Ann Rodgers (we're such good friends, but... just not on this day) And she thought it would be oh so fun to trim my hair! Nothing big, just really tiny pieces to agravate me! And that's what it did!

I got way mad at her, and stole the scissors out of her hand! But that's not all! Because I was fuming and I tend to think that I have to get the last laugh! So when she went back to talk to her friends, I snuck up behind her and went "snip!" Just to show her a lesson!

'Oh Crap!' I thought 'I cut off way too much!' It was the width of a pencil and was atleast 6 inches long, and it way noticable! So I hurried and stuffed it in the back pocket of my pants, just as she whips her head around. Her jaw drops and she's just glaring at me as I'm holding the scissors
"Just kidding!" I said as I go 'snip snip!' with the scissors! "But it felt real right?"

Ha! I totally got my self out of that one! So as I go back to talk to Mitch, to tell him what I so sneakily did, Shorty Irish girl (who... lets face it, sucks at Debate, but is totally full of all usless knowledge, which is so useless that it wouldn't even come in handy on 'Who wants to be a Millionare') tells Alysha what I just did!

So, Mitch gets this big smile one his face as I'm talking to him, because he can see pissed off Alysha marching up behind me! Then next thing I feel is her hand dive down into my pocket and pull out her clump of hair! (this is the climax) She starts screaming at me, as I'm walking backwards saying "it's just a joke..." (insert my occwar laugh here) "...and you did it to me... ya, I might have cut alittle more, but you started..." She jumps through the air, grabbing my hair and takes me to the floor!

She's a girl, so I can't really do much to defend my self! But, my head is in so much pain and even worste my hair just might all get pulled out! So what do I do? Grab her long hair, twist it and pull! She's still screaming, I don't even remember if she was making words or noises, but it was loud! While I'm making this half laugh and half wimmper, and trying to pull harder!

The whole class seemed to form a circle around us, we'd keep rolling and hit into the desks, then roll the opposite way and hit in to the other desks and keep going back and forth hitting desks until I was finally Saved by the Bell! Fewf! and she finally let go!

The teacher was just glaring us down and said "I didn't I realise I was baby sitting 5 year olds!" so I say in this low tierd vioce "ha..haha....sorry!" and walked out! I walked to my locker, the whole way there I pulled hand fulls of hair off of my my and dropping it in the halls! And Alysha, she taped her hair back on her head for the rest of the week (no joke!) and didn't speak to me for a month!

And that's why people say "Wade picks fights with girls!" Ha!

Are You Cool? (Take the test!)

2009-02-13T21:51:00.000-08:00

Nope! You're still a looser!
----Test Complete!----

Take my advice! Cause I'm not using it!

2009-02-06T17:47:00.000-08:00

My mom has always told me since I was yea high to a pigs eye to "Be nice at school! But don't be too nice!" Ha! And now I've realized how true she was! I know I'm not a mean person, but I think that's precicly what is leading to my occward moments! (yes, I do know how to spell "awkward" but I think spelling it "o.c.c.w.a.r.d." really emphasizes how bad you don't want to be in that situation)

Anywho, if you haven't known already, I attract the weirdest people; I haven't just done it once, I do it ALL THE DAYS! Ha! And the only reason I can think of, is because I'm nice too the crazies! So they must be thinking "Hey? This the first person who's not mean to me! That must means he likes me!" And that's how my life goes from smooth sailing to a frickin nightmare! I should say "Oh- Hay-O No! I don't want to be friends with you" (that's some Detroit ligo I picked up!) but I can't!

But ya, because of Lame-O's and crazy faces, I have certain paths that I walk inside my work building! And then at school, I know I have to get to class early so I don't have to take the last seat, right next to Thumbaleena (she's the girl with warts all over her thumbs! And lucky for me she talks with her hands alot!)

There's Big tall and creepy who has a fatty crush on me, The girl who acts more like a man than I do! And lets not forget who responded to my add, to be my new college roomate! Ha! The Illigal Imigrants, the 50 year old man, who wanted to be more than "just friends!" and The nudist man, who sent tonz of pictures and just can't figure out why I don't like his pictures! And why I don't want a naked man walking around my apartment!

I have more great, grand and groovie-o-so stories about this topic, but I have to take a shower! And after writing all those rude things in this blog I'm thinking "hmm... I'm actually not as nice as I think I am!" Ha! But it's nice to pretend things that I'm really not!

So take this advice! "Be nice, but don't be too nice!"