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wade_up

Monday, January 6, 2014

Utah legalizes gay marriage

remember reading an article about gay marriage, and in it, it stated that in the coming year of 2014, Utah will be legalizing gay marriage.  Growing up in this very traditional/very conservative state I totally discredited that article and stopped reading it. It had just lost all credit when I read that part .

Boy, have things changed since being on a ship for only 2 weeks! The Supreme Court over turned the people's decision and legalized gay marriage! Holy cow!
I was blown away by this!
I was so happy, kinda speechless, wishing that I had someone to celebrate this with- but not really caring too much, because it didn't even seem real.

I'm still getting Facebook rants for and against this ruling- which keeps me pretty entertained when I'm online. 

Growing up in the LDS church and being gay, I now have a pretty equal amount of friends who are for and against it, and it usually doesn't bug me when people go on these huge anti gay rants , if I was straight, I'd possibly be doing the same thing too... but I doubt it :) There would be so many great friendships I would loose if I was so narrow minded and selected friends based on their political and religious views.

In the past I've tried and tried to change, with such unsuccessful attempts, when it came time to serve an LDS mission I thought I could try once more to change myself by focusing less on me and more on the lords work for two whole years. I do admit that I had such a great learning and growing experience that I am always grateful for and built some life long friendships, but when it came down to the end of those two years, I was still attracted to men. I was kind of disappointed, kinda confused, not sure what I could don't better or what I would do next. 

I've have never really let me self become depressed, or suicidal over this realization, I was just getting brunt out- sick of people asking who I'm dating, so sick of these endless  blind dates that never ended well.   

I don't have an amazing or dramatic  coming out story, but I did feel this sense of relief, not having to hide the obvious truth! Ha!

It seems that when people come out, they get rid of their religion, throw all if their morals out the window, and become an entirely different person. 

I still feel that church/religion/spirituality is so important in a persons life.  Just as Native Americans make their spirituality so much apart of them, I feel the same way about my church.

I have friends who have left the LDS church, but I can usually tell that they were raised Mormon because of the way they act or conduct themselves. That's why I would never rip on anyone's religion, because it's still apart of them, and most try in their own way to make their people better.


Things I've learned from church that I am so grateful for is:
- self worth- if I hadn't learned to believe in myself, then why would anyone else. There are so many people out there to rip you down, and church does just the opposite

-Importance of body/word of wisdom- working in this ship they all tell me "this job will eventually make you turn to drinking" but we'll see, the more I learn about alcohol, the more unappealing it seems.

- Importance of family relationships, this is super interesting to me, because there are so many teenaged kicked out on the streets for being gay. I will always be so grateful for my family for actually practicing what they preach. My dad always says "No matter what you do, we will always love you!" That has meant so much to me, and gotten me through some rough times. 

This blog is a lot longer than it needs to be, but people always say "woah! How does that work out! Being a gay and being so close with your family!?"
So that's it, that's my background- I believe in gay marriage on a government level, but on a religious level- I think it's completely fine if they don't support it.

2 comments:

  1. As one of your churchiest friends can I just say that I love you so much? And I miss you. I live downtown now. Just weeks after you left and I keep wanting to call you to hang out.

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  2. I love you more than you'll ever know and what a privilege it is to be your mom. I can't imagine my life without you. You have brought our family so much closer together. Thanks for being you and loving me with all my imperfections.

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