Saturday, June 20, 2009

I hate fake diagnosis'

This is so crazy, I am surrounded by people who know everything, and they all seem to know with out a doubt what kind of weird diseases I have. It's never a possibility that I might have these disease, it's a defiant thing!

Example: If I'm tired then I defiantly have mono! Every time I act a little tired I keep getting informed that it's that dang Mono kicking in! It just doesn't seem logical to blame it on the fact that I have to be to work between 4:30 and 5 am! **Curses** That's early!

If a coworker's story gets so bloody boring that I completely tune them out and walk away I get informed that I have ADD and/or ADHD (what ever the difference is?)

If I have a swollen lymph node then my doctor first decides (no matter what I be sayin) that I'm sexually active, and that I have an STD from putting body parts in my mouth! Ha! I better keep my mouth closed from now on~

What else have I had, but not really had... Allergies to wheat! I thought I was going to die when my doctor said that I tested positive for it! But after more test he realized that I don't!

Back in the day when I couldn't read some big word!" they said "you need to get some glasses" which is just a nice way of saying "you're dumb! and can't read good!" ha!

My hair loss is lack of Biotin, Zinc and don't forget... STRESS! Stress supposedly causes everything known (and not known) to man! I wonder if it's caused aids yet?

But word to your mother "Yoga is definatly not the cure for everything!"

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Marathon Runners!

Me and Heather woke up early yesterday (5:45am) To go help out at the Utah Valley Marathon, and normally I wouldn't blog about such a boring thing, but it is one of my favorite hobbies... People Watching!

The only difference was that every one had alot more Swass and swoobs! (if you don't know what those are then read the fine print at the bottom of this blog!) When people finally got to us they were soaking wet, but still had 15 more miles to go!

I felt like saying "Don't give up now Boob sweat! your not even close to being half way!" or "Hope you brought a change of clothes, cause it looks like you pissed your pants back at mile 10!"

And all the occward runners totally modivated me, and gave me the confidence that I can run a 26 mile race! Ha! You see all types of people, the people who are really suffering through this, and the overly happy people!

So it makes me wonder....what would I look like if I were to run a marathon? would I be happy like this...

Or totally miserable like this....

Ha! I think it's ovbious, I would look and feel like crap!
I've been training for a few 5K's and acouple 10K's this summer. And maybe, just maybe I'll want to train for a Marathon next year...but I doubt it. But I'll definatly blog about it if I do!

P.S. Definition of Swass and Swoobs- found in UrbanDictionary.com
Swass- 1.Butt sweat 2. when prespiration builds up in the region between the butt cheeks
When used in a sentance- "Wade hasn't done much in PE class, yet he still has swass" or "Your mom has swass!"
Swoobs-1. Sweat + Boobs= Swoobs 2.Them damn sweaty boobs, that's what swoobs means! 3.When sweat gathers in your cleavage...you get swoobs
When used in a sentance- "I have a serious case of the swoobs"